No one is perfect and no marriage is perfect, but I have a husband who is absolutely perfect for me. Here are five traits that make him one of the greatest husbands of all time, and the lessons I’ve learned from him.
1. Be your spouse’s greatest cheerleader
My husband is a dreamer. He has goals, dreams, ambitions and the initiative to get out and get them. The awesome part about him though, is that he realizes that I have my own dreams and aspirations, and he does his best to support me. I reach my goals because he is my greatest cheerleader. I trained and ran a marathon and I owe my success to him. He coached me, ran many of my training routes alongside me, and carted our kids along the marathon course so he could be at different milestones to cheer me on.
2. Make your spouse your No. 1 priority
Before we got married, we decided that outside of Heavenly Father and the Savior, our spouse would be the most important person in our lives. Our children, parents, siblings, etc. would be secondary or tertiary in importance. At times it has been a struggle for me to maintain; Richard simply doesn’t come screaming to me for attention or throw temper tantrums, as do our 3 kids. I am always first to my husband though. We’ve also decided together that we don’t speak negatively about one another to our family members or friends. We can trust each other to be loyal. Consequently, our children will grow up expecting no less from their spouses.
3. Dating your spouse keeps the excitement and interest alive
As poor college students, we had a lot of fun dating and we still do. Marriage is fun and should stay that way. It takes time to prepare and think of things that are different from the norm (i.e., movie on the couch with popcorn…although we love those too). Three of our favorite stay at home dates have been setting up dollar store army men and knocking over each other’s guys with rubber bands; roasting marshmallows on the grill and watching the stars; and making desserts with odd ingredients and playing board games. Get creative and do something different!
4. Be thoughtful and find fresh ways to surprise your spouse.
Richard is extremely thoughtful. After a rough day, sometimes he will escort me into the bathroom where he’s drawn me a bath and give me a book so I can just relax or make a dinner (which usually entails a breakfast food). I can tell he thinks about me and is always willing to find a way to surprise me or lighten my load. When he does things for me, I find myself more willing and excited to do the same for him.
5. Treat your spouse with kindness and respect
My husband has never once raised his voice or intentionally said anything to me that is demeaning or unkind. I have never met a gentler, kinder person, with the exception of his mother; which is important. Because his parents treated one another with kindness, my husband does the same for me. I know my children will grow up having had the example from their father that husbands are to treat their wives and children with kindness and respect.
There is room to improve in every marriage. My husband, as good as he is, still needs to learn to appreciate chick flicks, especially Jane Austen. Here’s hoping that with enough time and brownies as bait and reward, maybe he can be won over.
– Natassia Scoresby